We all have an autonomic nervous system - a powerful guide that influences our every moment. We often believe our brain is making conscious decisions but it is really our nervous system that leads the way, in its need to ensure we are safe and protected.
It is our Autonomic Nervous System that drives those three ‘choices’ and decides how we initially react to situations. Do we freeze, fight or flee or are we safe enough to engage and connect?
These are not cognitive choices they are physiological responses.
What feels safe for one person (giving a presentation at work or going to a busy restaurant) might feel stressful and overwhelming for another. Most of us are unaware of how our nervous system is influencing these reactions.
Signals of safety might feel like - excited, comfortable, regular breathing, smiling and making eye contact with others, sleeping well the night before.
Signals of threat might feel like - anxious, shallow breathing, dry mouth, restless sleep, agitated, short-tempered, a feeling of wanting to hide or just not be there.
We are all unique, with unique experiences and responses to the world around us. Our autonomic nervous system has one job - to protect us. It connects the brain to the organs of the body and automatically initiates a physiological response. The racing heart as you go to talk in public is the autonomic nervous system getting ready for action. It happens before your brain starts to make sense of the experience and creates a story. The story follows the state.
How do I know this?
I have studied Polyvagal Theory since my daughter had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the medical system could not explain it. The doctors were supportive and provided medication and strategies for her many symptoms - racing heart (POTS), pain, anxiety, lack of sleep, erratic blood sugar and blood pressure, brain fog, sensitivity to light, sound, touch, food, smell - but there was no explanation or prognosis.
I was reading medical papers at 3am but it was only when we came across the fact that the Autonomic Nervous System connects all of these organs that anything started to make sense. This is Polyvagal Theory. It explains so much and more people should know about it and use it.
Dr Stephen Porges proposed Polyvagal Theory in the 1970s. Polyvagal takes its name from the Vagus nerve, the 10th cranial nerve that wanders around our body and is a primary component of the parasympathetic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system has two branches - sympathetic and parasympathetic.
The sympathetic provides the fight-flight response and the parasympathetic provides the hide and play dead response and also the connect and socially engage response.
We can interrupt and change our responses.
We can feel safer and heal.
Polyvagal Theory can provide a new way of understanding stress, anxiety and chronic health issues. It offers hope for those hoping to heal, not just cope with symptoms.
By learning to work with your nervous system, you can regain a sense of safety, control and well-being. You learn to be aware of your responses, you build habits that change the way you react and you start to understand what it feels like to be safe enough to be able to be who you are in the world. Imagine what that might feel like in your life.
It is Practical, Purposeful & Possible
We have three ‘choices’ built-in
we can hide, we can fight or run away, or we can connect - let me explain